Come See My Collection

Jorge Stolfi

"Just a moment, I keep it in this 24 carat gold plated USB stick. Let me open... here it is."

"What is this one?"

"That is 5235478110aa4e2c73403a0b1dfa87ca7329a9be158bc0c43b510a52d6c7a556.1, which I call 'THE 523'. It is my first NFT. It was created by Elon Musk from the word 'sucker'. They were cheap at the time, I got it for only $1500."

"Oh. And this one?"

"You mean 9be158baa4e2cc0c43b5523a0b1da52d6c740a10a556fa87ca73293547811073.3? It is an image of Mona Lisa signed 'Bruce Van Gogh'. I forgot who created it. But it was quite cheap, I could not resist."

"And this?"

"That is a very funny one, that 2cc0c43b1da52db55239be106a556fa87c74781107340a10ca73293558baa4ea.2. It is an NFT of a video of Noam Chomsky singing Gangnam Style.

"Did Noam really create it?"

"Well, the guy who sold it to me was quite positive about it. I sent an email to Chomsky, just to be sure, but he never replied."

"I see. What about this one?"

"That 773293558baa4ea0340a10ca2cc0c43b1da52db552c74781106a55639be1fa87.0 is an autographed selfie of LeBron James."

"Was it created by LeBron himself? It must have been expensive."

"I was lucky to get it for just under $3000. It is an NFT of the original NFT of the original NFT of the original NFT created by LeBron. I don't know who created it, but the chain of creation is fully certified by the blockchain, so this one is just as legitimate as the original NFT.

"At least you can get royalties every time someone uses that image."

"Well, actually the image is still copyrighted by LeBron. I would have to pay royalties to him if I used that image on my website, or sold T-shirts with it."

"Gee, that's not fair. And this?"

"Erm... That e1fa87c7478110340a1055239b6a55ca2cc0c43b773293558baa4ea01da52db6.0, that one... It is a bit embarrassing. It was supposed to be the NFT of an original video of Leonard Nimoy singing the Ballad of Frodo Baggins, created by 'Mr. Spock' himself. It was claimed to have a $2500 market price, but I got it for free as a bonus when I invested $10'000 into the SUK token ICO. I downloaded the file from the embedded URL, but could not play it because it was encrypted and the seller disappeared from the internet. Getting the decrypt key took me two months of asking around in hacker and carder forums. Then I found that the website had replaced the target of the URL, so that the file I downloaded was actually a CP video. I promptly deleted it, of course. I have the hash of Leonard's video but the file itself is nowhere to be found. I only keep this NFT to remind me to be more wary of free gifts."

"But isn't having an URL of a CP file in your computer as illegal as having the file itself?"

"Is it? Can't be, the URL is in the blockchain. One cannot use that coin in full without downloading the blockchain. The blockchain even contains some actual CP images (not just URLs), and the cops don't seem to mind."

"I wonder... But what else do you have here?"

"There is this beauty, a55c7c52db67479b6a28110340a105523e1fa8cc0c43b773293558baa4ea01da.3. If I told you how much I paid, you wouldn't believe it. It is an NFT of the empty string, created by an autonomous Ethereum smart contract that outputs a new one every 3 minutes. Vitalik denies it, but everybody knows that he wrote that script himself. This is the 77977th such NFT that it created, which is cool because 77977 is a prime number. There is no other integer equal to 77977, and that is what makes this NFT more valuable than gold."

"Really? Well, I must say, you do have a... very special collection, indeed."

"I have more NFTs upstairs in my bedroom. Wanna check them out?"

Last edited on 2021-04-02 05:23:59 by jstolfi