# Last edited on 2017-03-24 18:42:33 by stolfilocal
# NOT POSTED YET

See below is a very rough draft of the script for the upcoming bit-coin fork, as proposed by the Field Op managers at today's meeting.  All times are UTC of the "flag day" (date still to be defined).  Comments and suggestions are welcome.  

03:00:00 Bit-coin Unhinged (BU) will be activated by the miners we bribed.  The coin will then split into BTCC (with 1 MB blocks, 40% of the hashpower) and BTCU (with anyone-guess-the-size blocks, 60%).

03.08:47 Chore-supporting nodes will refuse to propagate the BTCU blockchain.  About 8'000 clients who will have upgraded to BU-compliant wallets but will end up connected to Chore nodes only, will be thoroughly confused.  As a result, they will lose a few hundred coins in total, as payments will be reissued or sent to receivers who will have opted for BTCC.  

03:09:22 The reverse will happen to about 13'000 clients who will still be running Chore-compliant wallets but will be connected to BU nodes only; with the same end result.

03:10:25 Another 25'000 clients will be connected to both BU and BC miners.  Their transactions will be confirmed randomly in the BTCU chain only, in the BTCC chain only, or in both chains, depending on how the coins are tainted.  Since each of those clients will see only one chain, there will be more confusion and thus more coin loss.

04:12:14 Right after the split, the bitcoin price (assumed to be $1100, just for concreteness) will split neatly between the coins: BTCU will get $400 [Note 0], BTCC will get $200, Ethereum (Classic and Punk) will get $200, and the other $300 will be split chiefly between Dash, Monero, Dogecoin, and PayCoin.

06:30:00 Coinhaze will confiscate all the Unhinged coins that correspond to their clients' BTC holdings (estimated to be about 100 k BTCU).  Coinfaze will send those coins to Buttfinex, and exchange them for 50 k BTCC.  

07:12:30 Our agents inside Buttfinex will perform another hack, like they did last time.  Buttfinex will then shave another 20% off all client accounts -- including Coinhaze's, which will be reduced from 50 k BTCC to 40 k BTCC.

08:55:00 The BTCC chain, with its capacity (block rate) reduced to 40% of the pre-fork level, will develop a huge backlog.  The BTCC price will drop to $100.  Rush to dump by ancient holders will make the backlog worse.  

09:10:00 The 3rd floor manipulators will lift the BTCU price to $500.

10:30:00 Coinfaze clients will threaten to sue the company to get their BTCU out, forcing Coinhaze to buy back the 100 k coins that they just sold.  The 40 k BTCC they got from the sale will only buy 8 k BTCU at the current prices, so they will have to spend another 46 million USD or 18.4 k BTCC for that.  They will opt for the latter, and announce a 18.4% haircut on all customer BTCC accounts.

11.05:30 A bug in the BU code, triggered by a block that was exactly 1'234'567 bytes long, will cause the BU blockchain to fork repeatedly after every 5 blocks.  A patch to fix the bug will be distributed to miners at 12:03:45, and they will again converge on a single chain twelve minutes later.  The multiple reorgs will cause another estimated 13'221 clients to lose approximately 2450.00231557 BTCC and 1337.00000001 BTCU.

12:07:05 Seeing that BTCU is not dead yet, Blokestream will put in action the "fire the miners" plan.  Namely, they create a new altcoin (that they call "Bitcoin", but everybody else must be carefult to call "GregCoin" or BTCG) whose proof-of-work will be based on an elliptic curve fingerprint, combined with a very hard chess problem and a 10000 x 10000 crossword puzzle.  

12:07:23 Spammers are already scheduled to start issuing several MB of garbage transactions to the BTCG chain at this time, even before the first block is mined.  (Someone please remember to have a dozen pizzas delivered to the basement around lunch time.)

12:10:45 Several experts will warn Blokestream that the "fire the miners" move is totally unnecessary, since BTCU, as a hard-forked chain, will be invisible to clients who are still running the Blokestream software -- and there is no sign that the majority will bother to sabotage the BTCC chain.  Blokestream will ignore the warnings, saying that the plan must be implemented because it is so clever, and besides the experts are CIA lackeys and their mothers have been seen standing at street corners at night.  The experts will then leave the scene, stomping and slamming the door. 

12:15:00 BitFurry's CEO, incensed by the "fire the miners" move, 

13:54:22 Blokestream will announce that 17 users (mostly their employees) have already downloaded the BTCG version of the Core client, and the first block of the new branch has been mined.  It will barely make a dent in the spam backlog.  Thus BTCG will start out with a fully operational "fee market", with all its known benesses.

15:18:09 A teenager in North Corea (the country, not the subreddit) will realize that the 21.inc chip on the PiTato, while useless to mine BTCC or BTCU, can be exploited to solve large crossword puzzles incredibly fast.  Instead of posting his discovery, he will use his smuggled PiTaro to mine BTCG, and will have 98.5% of the total hashpower active for that chain.   After mining 250 blocks, he will have enough BTCG to buy a second PiTato from eBay, or a Mickey Mouse hat.  He will choose the hat.

The meeting is still going on, but new minutes may take a while since His Scaliness the Sub-Vice Lizard showed up for a snack and we will have to call in another Secretary.